Welcome to Body T'Shuva Insights, Methods, and Discoveries.
In each entry I will share an experience that you may relate to in your life, or find useful in your own therapy practice. I look forward to hearing from you with any reflections, thoughts, comments, or inspirations that you have from reading each issue. If you are not on the mailing list to receive the Newsletter please send me an email through on my website contact page and let me know that you wish to be included in the mailing.
I AM TOO MUCH
“I know that I am too much,” she said. These are some of the saddest words. Consider for a moment what it would be like going through your life being told that your feelings, your longings, or how much you want from life, are too much for others to bear. My client continued: “I heard this from my parents, from teachers, and peers. It felt so crushing that I thought my only recourse was to cut myself off from my own needs. It was as if I excommunicated my needs from my body to the point that I did not even remember that they had once been there. What this meant was that I had to refashion my voice very small and very soft.”
Have you heard this before? Have you ever felt like this? I have heard this many times from clients. As a child, my client just wanted to have space for herself within her family. She had a big lifefulness and did not want to contain it in the predetermined boxes allotted for her. This, of course, can be challenging when a parent or teacher is balancing many needs at once. However, to simply witness her 'bigness,' to see her brightness, and to encourage her unique purpose, does not diminish or take away anything from anyone else.
What happened when her bright light was not witnessed? As my client lay on the healing table in my office looking up at the skylight directly above her, she told me more. “I put away my joy, I had to stop wanting from life.” The longings, shoved down so deeply for all those years, started to bubble up again. I only had to gently guide her to feel the place in her body which had been storing these protected feelings, and the gnawing in her belly immediately gripped her. I helped her focus on this place in her body by having her breathe into it, sustaining her attention there, and letting her body make the sound that she needed to make, the sound of her longings. As she let sound flow, I reached in and gently removed the heavy energetic block that sat directly on top of all the long held feelings. At first, I heard a muffled constricted sound and she said she was feeling afraid. I reassured her and encouraged her to continue to breathe and feel. The sound suddenly changed. “Did you hear that?” she asked in shock. What I heard was a clear, rich, full tone that got louder and louder. It sounded like a strong note being blasted from an instrument. “I used to be a singer,” she blurted out, “and I have not heard my own voice since I was young.”
For this woman, mother, and wife, not only had she tucked away her needs, but she dismantled her actual voice as well. What I have to say now for those of you who have felt and believed that you are too much is this:
Express your longings and own who you are!
I welcome and witness your fullness and your brightness with joy, enthusiasm, and celebration!